I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
