you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
