My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
