It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
