There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
