lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
