he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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