His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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