Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
