You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
love makes seman taste better
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
