people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
