also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
