matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
