just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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