Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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