Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
