Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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