It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
