Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
