Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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