Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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