She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Princesses don't give blow jobs
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
