he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
