i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
