you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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