Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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