the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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