There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
NoShamevember. You game?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
