so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
