So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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