she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The Olympian is in my bed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
