you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
