question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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