he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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