playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
