You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
