I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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