seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
