I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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