I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
