I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
420 ftw
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
