I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
