there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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