I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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