And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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