No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
