I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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