found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
