I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
