There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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