why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
