I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
