I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
