you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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