Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
