TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
