All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
