Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My life is pants optional.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
