Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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