She is in my trunk
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
